reyshizz

To all the women out there, far and near…

First of all I’m sorry. I’m not exactly sure what I’ve done (directly or indirectly), but I feel that you women deserve an apology from all men. I come as an ambassador to bridge the gap between the two of us. We can live together harmoniously. I believe this to be true. So can we make that happen?

*Sigh* Where do I begin? I’ve been hearing the same story amongst my female friends and I empathize deeply for them (but not in the way you think). Let me explain. She’s twenty something maybe even early thirties. She’s successful (in the common sense) has a degree, (or two) salary job, her own apartment (condo or house), but is deeply unhappy. Why? Because the men in her life bring her more grief than happiness. She meets the same losers (I may have been one of them) with nothing but apologies and excuses. When she does find a guy who she thinks she could spend the rest of her life with, he cheats on her or he’s afraid to commit or he’s a lazy bum. They all leave her and I get the opportunity to hear about it.

The first thing they do is blame themselves, “What is it with me that I always attract all these losers”. Next comes shutting down completely, “From now on I’m just going to focus on X and forget about finding a man”. But eventually another smooth operator comes along and it starts all over again….

What are we to conclude? All (or the majority) of men are jerks/assholes/self-centered/egotistical etc… (I’ve been called them all)? That would be the easiest assumption. But lets take a look at the other side of the coin.

I’m twenty something maybe even thirty. I like sex. I try to do it often with as many women as I can because that’s what’s expected of me. My role models are few and far between. I’m not really sure what I want in life but I do want options. I’m constantly pressured to “act like a man” what ever that means. I really just want to be left alone (and have sex every now and again). I meet women and I treat them like I treat them. I know what she’s expecting and I know what she wants. I’m not sure I’m ready for all that. Shit I still live at home w/ the parents… comfortably. Her time line is waaaay faster than mine… wait I don’t even have a time line. I wonder how long it will be before shit hits the fan…

As you can see our minds are in different places. You are obviously more focused and strategic than we are. And we are able to flow (or coast) better than you all. At the end of the day I think we both want the same thing… happiness. For each person that magical word can come from different things.

I think if we understand and know that neither of us are perfect and mistakes will be made, we will get along a lot better. We also need to do a better job as being open and honest with one another. I suspect that honesty would alleviate all the misunderstandings. We need to be able to talk openly (without judgment or shame) about what we want and when we want it. If we do these simple things I think we would get along better.

Again, I’m sorry.

Love,

-rey