reyshizz

I wake up and go to work. I live in NJ and commute 1.5 hours to the city every morning. I wish I could say during that time I’m writing rhymes or thinking up my next big move… But I’m not. I usually read, listen to music or pretend to listen to music and zone out.

I get to office usually before most of the other employees, sit at my desk and kick ass for 9 hours straight (with an hour lunch in between). When I get off I take that 1.5 hour commute back to the crib.

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I wrote the program (pseudo code) as a joke a couple of years ago. Enjoy (if you can understand it).

God () {
  Create new life;
  live (life);
}

live (life) {
  if ( life.gender == male ) {

      attract_female( life );

  }else if (life.gender == female) {

      attract_male( life );

  }

  if ( life.hasmate ) && ( life.able ) {

      make_babies( life );

  }else if ( life.age > life.expectancy ) {

      kill( life );

  }else {

      live (life)

  }

}

I like to drink, but I hate being drunk and getting hangovers. Wait, let me back up. I don’t date, but I do like to go out and have drinks with people. It’s a chance at good conversation, and I love a good conversation. Here in lies the problem. The the better the conversation, the longer I stay and the more I drink. I could just stop when I know I’ve had enough, but that doesn’t work because I don’t know if I’ve had too much until I get home and the room is spinning (way too late to stop).

One option is to not drink at all… Okay I was just kidding… so what do I do?

As you get to know me, you’ll realize I read way too fucking much. I have to go on reading diets like people go on eating diets. But that’s a whole other story. Right now I want to talk about the new book I’ve just finished reading titled, “Purple Cow” by Seth Godin. BTW, when I say read that also includes audio books. So, I picked up this “purple cow” because it was one of Jay-z’s 6 books that made a difference (the list is found on Oprah’s website).

The book is about marketing. More specifically it’s about differentiating yourself from the other cows in the herd by being the “purple cow”. Of course this book made me think about the ways that I can be a “purple cow” in the rap world. And honestly, I have know fucking clue. In the two days it took me to get through the book I racked my brain trying to think of ways to stand out apart from the other million independent artist out there and I came up with nothing.

Now-a-days very good doesn’t count for shit. If you rap you have to be very good for someone to get through hearing your song for the first time. Now that they’ve heard it, what would make them follow you on twitter or become your facebook fan or buy your ringtones or do any other thing you want them to act upon? And yet again this is a question I’m asking myself and coming up with air.

If anyone has any suggestions I will be happy to hear them. Leave a comment or feel free to hit me up on aim, my screen name is reyshizz.

Free writing… I sat down for about 15 minutes and wrote down what ever came into my mind. This is the outcome… be prepared to be confused…

Start Here
I’m reminded of English class back-in-the-day when the teacher would tell us to write. I didn’t know what I wanted to write about back then either. I just knew I wanted it to be creative and impressive enough to get the teachers attention. Hmm… getting an authority figures attention; that seems like a common theme in my life. First with my parents, then my teachers and now my managers (and critics).

I do music. Translation, I rap. I think I’m pretty good but I still seek approval from my friends, family, and potential business partners to validate what I’m saying on the record or how it sounds. I especially seek approval from my cousin Vain. He’s been rapping way before I started rapping seriously and I think he’s far superior with his skills. I look to him for approval, I wonder if he looks to anyone to aspire to; not anyone crazy famous but just anyone that we know that he looks up to. I don’t know.

When thinking of others that I look up to, I think of my cousin Henry. He’s my technology influence pretty and much the reason I’m doing what I’m doing now, professionally. I look to him for approval when dealing with anything technology oriented…

Hmm… this is crazy… “this” meaning life. I am on, what they call in the east, “the pathless path”, “enlightenment” or “spiritual awakening” etc etc. It’s a journey that doesn’t take you anywhere, but allows you to acknowledge that fact that you are already there now. So it’s a journey to get to the here and now and stay there for as long as possible. I don’t think I’m there yet, which is a contradiction of terms because I am here now. It’s confusing, I know, but that’s what it is…

I write and I like to write. I like creating intricate lyrics that describe my journey to nowhere. I see things differently, I think, and I’d like to share my view with the world. A little recognition (and money) doesn’t hurt either. I like money, it’s a form a power. I read that in the world that we live to day, the most evolved people can control their environment and the people in it. In this world those with money has that control. That is a fact to some extent. It’s a form of external power, that which can be gained, lost and handed down from generation to generation, which is great. The problem is that external power doesn’t necessarily leave you feeling fulfilled.

So how do we achieve fulfillment? I don’t know. When do I feel the most fulfilled? I feel the most fulfilled in the moment, when I’m doing something that I enjoy. I think back to when I used to play football. That time is probably the most in the moment I’ve ever felt. You have no choice. Wasting time thinking to much about any action can get you seriously injured. So I didn’t think much while I played, I just took action.There was no time for thought at all.

Fast forward to now, when do i do that? I enjoy recording but I wouldn’t say I’m completely in the moment, maybe for short intervals while I am recording. A lot of the times I think about how my shit will sound to other people. I like listening to something that I know I hit on the head in all aspects, that brings me joy.

I like music. I like listening to music that makes my skin crawl or makes the hairs on my skin stand up. Right now, the song that does that for me is Run this Town by Jay-z Rihanna and Kanye. It’s pretty dope. When it comes on I have to play it loudly to get the full effect. That song may make it to my top ten songs of all time (btw I haven’t finished making the list).

But anyways, I’m so far gone. I’m feeling that dude Drake he may look silly but you can’t help but like most of his music. I feel like he’s missing something, I don’t know what it is. I wonder what I’m missing? That’s a good question, “What am I missing?” That is a question you throw out to the universe and pay attention, so that when the answer comes you can receive it. I need to focus so I wont miss it.

Ambition is kinda crazy, I like to achieve things but soon after I achieve one thing I have another thing to achieve. My ambition doesn’t equal satisfaction, so what does? That’s another good question, “What equals satisfaction?” I may have mentioned it earlier and completely missed it.

Nothing! Nothing matters.

Now that we have that settled, I have a zen riddle for you. It’s derived from a conversation between Master Sekkyo and a monk in training.

How do you get a hold of emptiness?

This is amazing.

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I’m not one for revenge, but this is an interesting video I got from swiss miss depicting it.

This video shed a new light on an old school classic. Enjoy

I don’t mean to get personal but I want to get this shit off my chest. I recently got out of a relationship and since then I have begun to question the whole concept of a relationship. What does it mean?

This is how I see it now…

For what ever reason Person A wants to be in a relationship (for what ever reason) with another person. Then person B comes along with the same desire. They meet each other one thing lead to another (whatever those things are) and the next thing you know they’re in a relationship together. All good right? Well let’s see…

My guess is that everyone has their own ideas of what a relationship is and isn’t. I’d say about 50% of those ideas overlap between people, which leaves 50% of what a relationship is open to interpretation.

My trade is in engineering so I like diagrams. Below is an illustration of the problem. When Person A and B get together some parts of their relationship ideas overlap and others don’t. I call this the “Conflict Zone”. Any time an issue comes up where the ideas don’t intersect there’s going to be a problem. How that problem manifests itself is another story, just know that it’s going to happen.

Now believing this to be true, how can one avoid conflict zones in a relationship? I have two solutions: a) find someone who shares 100% of your ideas about a relationship (not likely) or b) kill the idea of a relationship. See figure below.

When you kill the idea what you are left with are two people sharing each others company. No “have tos”, “shoulds”, or “shouldn’ts”… No problems no make ups or break ups… Just living…

Moving forward this will be my practice… until (of course) I find a rational reason why the above is flawed

What do you all think?