reyshizz

Blah blah blah. I do that often. I mean, I have opinions and arguments that I like to share with others when a topic of interest arises. Whenever I do share my opinion with another human being it is thoroughly argued and dissected, so I have to be prepared with arguments that are (pretty) well rehearsed. One of those opinions that is scripted in my head is my view on relationships. Over the past year I’ve maintained a radically different perspective on relationships that always gets me in trouble when I talk about it – both online and off. The bases of my argument is that the traditional relationship model is grossly outdated and needs to be changed to accommodate the way we live today. Once again I will go through the motions of explaining the problem and proposing a possible solution.

What is a relationship?

Traditionally when people talk about being in a relationship, they are referring to boy + girl exclusively dating one another. But in general a relationship can be any interaction between people, whether long lasting or fleeting. For now, let’s talk about the former.

What are the rules?

Once a boy and girl get into a traditional relationship there are rules and roles each party is supposed to abide by according to their society, religion, or tradition. Issues such as, “No sex before marriage” or “Who pays at dinner” and a variety of other topics are stated and answered by the society, religion or tradition the person has grown up in. I think the most controversial amongst them all is the debate between monogamy and polygamy.

Monogamy vs. Polygamy

In the US a majority of society believes that there should be only be one man and one woman in a relationship or marriage (monogamy). In other places and religions it is common for a person to have more than one partner in either a marriage or relationship (polygamy). [Side note: If there’s one man and many women it’s called polygyny. If there’s one woman and many men it’s called polyandry.]

Most women would ring a guys neck if he tried to introduce another woman in a traditional relationship, and vice verca. So this usually doesn’t happen. What is more common is that one party goes outside of the relationship to experience intimacy with another person without the other party knowing. What’s even more common is the the other party finding out and wanting to ring a couple of neck for the sneaking around that has been going on. Why? Because the rules of the land state that there only be one man and one woman in a relationship. If this rule is broken, the other party should feel hurt, sad, angry, seek vengeance, get a divorce etc. Even in polygamous relationships, where this behavior is (somewhat) accepted, it can still lead to conflict amongst all the people involved. (Have you seen Big Love? I wouldn’t want that guy’s life either)

This issue is one of the many issues that people are faced with when they are involved in a traditional relationship.

What is the solution?

As mentioned earlier there is a different type of relationship; the interactions you have on a day-to-day with your friends, family, co-workers, and/or strangers on the train. In essence we’re in relationships with everyone and everything around us, but we tend to make titles that, most often, restrict the level of interaction that can be experienced. Those titles are more often than not the cause of the conflict that occurs between people. Why isn’t it okay to love and learn from everyone we come across in our journey in life? I’m not saying that I am for polygamy. I’m saying that we can benefit from all the relationships in our lives if we stopped wasting time labeling and started spending time building upon those connections.

Okay, let’s be practical. Let’s say you want what society wants you to want (i.e., wife/husband, kids and a mortgage). You want the fairy tale “happily ever after” storybook ending. You want one person that you can come home to every day that will be there for you and walk with you in the journey of life. I am not saying that you cannot have that one person… What I’m saying is that if someone else comes along, we should not shut them out before sharing each others company and life experiences. You can take that to mean what ever you want, but the fact is we miss out on the jewels that “God/Jesus/The Higher Being/The Universe” sends to us in the form of each other when we close doors one another, in the form of labeling.

Alright, now I think I’m tired of talking typing. All in all, you will do what you will and so will I. It is all Good because it is done with His grace and He can do no Wrong.